You don’t know what she expects from you

In the dance of human relationships, expectations often form the backdrop, guiding movements and dictating rhythm. Yet, too frequently, these expectations remain unspoken, creating a silent theater of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and unfulfilled desires. A common dilemma faced by many is: “you don’t know what she expects from you.” delving deeper into this sentiment can open a world of introspection, understanding, and better communication.

The labyrinth of unspoken expectations

Cultural conditioning: from fairy tales to romantic movies, women have been conditioned to believe in the narrative of the “mind-reading” partner – the prince or lover who knows precisely what they want without it being said. Such ideals can lead women to believe that if a man truly loves her, he’ll instinctively know her desires.

Fear of vulnerability: expressing expectations means revealing a part of one’s desires and insecurities. This vulnerability can be daunting, leading many women to keep their feelings and desires close to their chest.

Anticipating rejection: there’s an underlying fear that vocalizing expectations might result in confrontation, disappointment, or rejection, especially if those expectations seem ‘unconventional’ or ‘too much’ in their eyes.

The challenges of navigating the unknown

When expectations remain unspoken, it can lead to:

Misunderstandings: you might misinterpret her silence or non-verbal cues, leading to actions that are well-intended but miss the mark.

Resentment: over time, unmet expectations can brew resentment. She might feel you’re not attentive enough, and you might feel frustrated by the lack of clarity.

Distance: emotional distance can creep in when both parties feel unheard or unfulfilled. This can strain even the most robust relationships over time.

Stepping into the light: ways to understand her expectations

Open communication: this is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Foster an environment where she feels safe expressing her desires and expectations without judgment. Regular check-ins can be a great way to ensure both parties are on the same page.

Active listening: when she does share, listen actively. This doesn’t mean merely hearing the words but understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. Sometimes, what’s unsaid speaks louder than words.

Observe non-verbal cues: a lot can be gauged from body language, facial expressions, and general behavior. For instance, if she often seems distant after you spend extended hours at work, she might value quality time, even if she hasn’t explicitly said so.

Ask questions: if unsure, ask! It’s better to seek clarity than to make assumptions. Framing questions positively can help. Instead of asking, “what’s wrong?” try, “how can i support you better?”

Empathy is key: place yourself in her shoes. Understanding her background, past experiences, and current circumstances can provide valuable insights into her expectations.

Setting the stage for mutual understanding

Express your expectations: a relationship is a two-way street. While understanding her expectations is vital, it’s equally important to express yours. This reciprocal openness can strengthen mutual respect and understanding.

Compromise and negotiation: no two individuals will have perfectly aligned expectations. Recognizing this and being willing to compromise or negotiate is essential for a harmonious relationship.

Seek external support: if communication barriers persist, consider couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can provide tools and strategies to facilitate understanding.

Self-reflection: take time to introspect on your own beliefs, biases, and triggers. Recognizing these can help in understanding your reactions to her expectations and in navigating conflicts better.


Relationships are intricate, shaped by emotions, experiences, and, most importantly, the individuals involved. In the journey of understanding what she expects from you, it’s crucial to remember that every woman is unique. There’s no one-size-fits-all guide.

What stands universally true, however, is the power of open communication, genuine effort, and the desire to understand and be understood. So, instead of being daunted by the enigma of her unspoken desires, view it as an opportunity—an opportunity to connect deeper, love stronger, and build a relationship that’s anchored in mutual respect and understanding.